Jan and I were both unintentionally doing this one thing, and it was emotionally wounding for both of us, draining the love from each other, and destroying the joy and fulfillment in our marriage.
Once we understood this #1 cause of conflict in our marriage, we were able to eliminate that cause, and within a short time repair the damage we had done to each other over the first seven years of marriage.
Some years later, I wrote a book, Two Fleas and No Dog: Transform Your Marriage from Fleadom to Freedom, unpacking the detail and ways to implement this key concept and several other insights to marriage that God gave me personally.
The principles in this book contain the keys that literally transformed our marriage from an endurance contest to the fulfilling, joy-filled marriage we had both dreamed of before our wedding.
This book, Two Fleas and No Dog, has been translated into numerous other languages, and we have now received back hundreds of testimonies from around the world from couples who have read this book and experienced the same transformation in their marriages that Jan and I initially did.